As the climate emergency becomes more and more present in our society, everyone is doing their bit to propose solutions against this problem which concerns us all and propels us into a ravine from which we will never return and which in addition stinks a bit of old ass. While there are some good ideas out there, some are weirder and more questionable and some are downright stupid. We invite you to see a little mix of all this, to prove to you that it is still not won and that it clearly does not bode well for the future if we do not surround ourselves with people who are a little more thoughtful.
1. Block the sun’s rays with mirrors
The sun’s rays are no longer blocked enough by the ozone layer? No worries, just throw thousands of mirrors in space to reflect them to refresh the surface of the planet. Well, even if we managed to set up such a process (which would be completely stupid not to mention the price), it would only reflect 1% of solar radiation so it’s not super effective. Not to mention that if the mirrors ever break their face, we risk taking it directly on the face and that’s not a project we want to see happen.
2. Poo every other day
This genius idea comes from Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro, a man who always manages to surprise with the only constant of always doing it wrong. The man had suggested eating less and pooping every other day to save water. What do you want to add to that, the guy is better at valves than me, I have nothing to rebound on this point, except a good dose of consternation.
3. Put a blanket over the glaciers to prevent them from melting
This idea comes originally from Switzerland, which wanted to prevent the escape of glaciers, not especially for the love of nature but to protect its ski resorts, a good ecological paradox. The idea is simple and can be summed up by putting big white blankets that do not absorb heat on the expanses of snow. It may sound silly but it works pretty well as an idea since it has been calculated that it reduced snowmelt in these places by 80%. But again we are treating the symptoms and not the disease if we don’t try to block the source of the problem.
4. Attach a leash to an asteroid to deflect it…
In view of the arrival of an asteroid in the direction of the planet, some scientists have proposed a rather crazy plan to deflect it: attach a leash to it several thousand kilometers long to create a pendulum effect and send this bastard back from there where he comes from. This means that we must already make this super resistant “rope”, find a way to attach it securely to the asteroid and then pray that it works. Many uncertainties when it is enough to send the team of Armaggeddon to solve the problem.
5. … Or deflect an asteroid towards Russia
Still in view of the arrival of an asteroid in the direction of the planet, American scientists have proposed a deflection plan to send it to destinations that would cause “least damage”. And these two destinations are Venezuela and Russia, which (you can easily imagine) would be quite badly accepted by these two countries and their leaders. Not impossible that it will start a war, especially if Russia is chosen, which therefore makes it a good shitty idea.
6. Influence the weather by throwing products in the clouds
Imagine that in China there is the Bureau of Weather Modification in Beijing. A real division that takes care, as its name suggests, of changing the weather. A program which costs 168 million dollars and which consists of swinging rockets loaded with silver iodide into the clouds so that it rains before arriving above the city. A solution that was very practical for managing the 2008 Olympics, but as far as long-term climate management is concerned, we are less convinced.
7. Throw chemicals at the poles to cool them down
Are the poles warming up and dooming us to an apocalyptic future? Do not panic: we are going to shield military planes with chemicals and send them to fly over the poles to cover them with this miracle solution (13 million tonnes) which should cool them. This is a feasible idea but particularly controversial and disputed by many scientists. Already it would take 175,000 plane flights per year to carry out the project, which is not at all great for reducing pollution but in addition we have no idea of the undesirable effects that such a quantity of these products could cause. .
8. Set up polluting factories directly in space
The idea comes to us from Jeff Bezos, a man who knows what he wants and gets it thanks to the whims of a billionaire. His idea (rather than reducing his personal carbon footprint or changing Amazon’s polluting methods) is to go directly to install the most polluting factories in space, because ultimately it would be better to go and pollute up there than on Earth, or stop polluting excessively, for example. It’s scary.