The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power In spite of offering us a big Balrog, she still doesn’t get carried away. Worse even, in addition, it is now corny.
With this episode 5, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power passes the milestone of half of its broadcast, and while we hoped last week that the arrival of the second half and the decision of Númenor to enter the conflict would bring a shift to higher gear, we have to make up our minds. Indeed, Patrick McKay and JD Payne have again found a way to procrastinate for ages, except that to immobility this time is added stupidity.
Have a drink
EPIC ONE NAP
Because after the dazzling effect of the first two episodes, despite such enjoyable photography and – above all – music, it would now seem well established that Rings of Power has nothing in the belly, or very little. In any case, we can say at least that season 1 has a soft stomach, as the enfilade of episodes 3, 4 and 5 will have demonstrated a form of inconsistency and indolence in the writing which reaches here its climax. So we know it, it’s written everywhere in comments and social networks, and we’ve read the same books as you: Tolkien, it takes time. The Fellowship of the Ring even begins with sixty pages of dissertations on the Hobbits’ favorite cannabis.
Except that literary time does not flow in the same way as audiovisual time, that we are not with Béla Tarr or Andrei Tarkovski and that in addition, Amazon, precisely, has given itself a time limit: five seasons, a priori of eight one-hour episodes. In reality, it is much shorter than the 1178 pages of the Lord of the Rings that Peter Jackson was able to transcribe in about 11 hours (in the long version) each more exciting than the other. During this time, Rings of Power still hasn’t finished its exposition phase in five hours, still doesn’t have a clear stake and direction. Not to mention the fact that now, we are exposed to a little anything a little anyhow.
And on top of that, there’s YET another new character to introduce
EPIC A CRISIS
Nonsense when we are told that the maritime and military civilization of Númenor will make war with five three boats and 500 men. Boats built for the occasion and men without additional training (there is no army in Númenor?). And they want us to pass it off as a show of power, with forceful slowdowns in addition – slowdowns still just as bad by the way. Might as well go to Verdun with his beard and his knife. Anything when mithril is seen adding completely invented properties to make it a crippling MacGuffin. Anything when Isildur, the most Númenórean of all Númenóreans, knowingly and for no reason covers up a proven traitor to the homeland.
That’s all the richest series in the world can send against Sauron – and yes, on top of that there will be 3 instead of 5
No matter how when, for example, we want at all costs to make us believe in the evil aura of Meteor Man at the turn of an introductory dialogue that a schoolboy fan of Attack! Attack! would not have dared to write. No matter how when the migration of the Hobbits is pathetically summarized for us in a series of maps and wide shots randomly generated by Instagram, accompanied by a purely and simply atrocious song, a stone’s throw from Ed Sheeran’s vocal cameo.
Anyhow when Amazon twists and sacrifices one of the best episodes of Tolkien’s mythology and the long-prepared appearance of a Balrog on the altar of fan servicing, in thirty seconds as flashy as dispatched. At least the trailer shots weren’t used, so hopefully the creature will return later, and more cleanly this time.
This scene is another weird invention
EPIC THE EYES
And the list could go on for a long time. But while we’re being thrown pixie powder in our eyes, no deep stakes emerge, almost no emotional attachment to the characters is tied – even Arondir now seems lost, while Adar confirms that he is only a poor distraction. Nothing beats in the chest. The pulse of Rings of Power is almost at a standstill, and it is between the giggles and the mortal strangulation that we hear a character say that“we don’t drag a people, we lead them”. How ironic for an episode that drags us so long that the only epic scene it has to offer to keep us watching is… an overchoreographed workout. More bling.
Galadriel, level 3000 elf, dislodging level 1 recruits, truly spectacular
We are also told that “the eye of hope is the first to open and the last to close”. Suffice to say that ours are now almost closed, and that it is less hope than a form of absurd faith in the cosmos that keeps us in the belief that Rings of Power will know how to become well. Faith, but also proof. Because the series has already been successful, during two beautiful first episodes which promised us so much, and she constantly proves that she has all the budgetary means at her disposal to build a great epic and moving story. It would therefore be time to stop fidgeting with his gigantic sex under our noses, so much will we be more moved by a big heart.
A heart that shrinks from hour to hour, and if it were to stop beating, we will have to fight elbows to compensate.
A new episode of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is available every Friday on Amazon Prime Video since September 2, 2022